


If It Were Anyone Else

by Kunabee



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Anxiety, Multi, Panic Attacks, Service Animal, autistic main character, gender neutral reader, internalized ableism, service cat, specifically, that's all within the first chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:28:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24519985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunabee/pseuds/Kunabee
Summary: One day, you find yourself surrounded by demons at a place called RAD, your application to a scholarship having gone unexpected directions. Thankfully, you'll have your cat, Bobbin, with you for your stay here. Not so thankfully, this is...reallybad for your anxiety.Somehow, though, you'll make it through.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 50





	If It Were Anyone Else

**Author's Note:**

> ya'll should know by now my self-control is _zero_
> 
> Here I go again, writing another fanfiction instead of working on my ongoing projects, gosh darn it ---. Shockingly enough, however, this isn't Undertale. Instead, it's Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
> 
> I was avoiding this game because I had played other "Shall We Date?" games, and while NTT Solmare is very good at writing a story, they're not so great at balancing gameplay. So much is unlockable with premium currencies and stuff it's just... super frustrating. But I finally gave in, because I'm seeing "Obey Me!" everywhere, and...
> 
> Wow. The story is SUPER engaging, the action points and premium currencies aren't as ridiculous as they've been before, and I have a ton of options. It feeds my inner RPG-lover and doesn't require me to choose one, although of course, I have my favorites (my favoritism towards Beelzebub will be very, very obvious, probably). I don't like how dang linear it is, but, well...
> 
> Since it's so linear... maybe... writing a fanfic could help with that. I could fix some issues. Give more options, create something with more depth than the game. Follow more potential. Take this world that's been well-crafted and make it a little something of my own.
> 
> And here we are.
> 
> In classic Kunabee style, of course, I also decide to explore a character that the other characters aren't sure how to deal with. That is: for my fanfic, my "main character" (that's "you") has autism and an "unspecified anxiety disorder". For them, they have Bobbin: a cat they trained themselves (since they have issues with dogs that will be explored later in their story) to stop them from hurting themself and ground them from panic attacks. I love playing dynamics like that - a classic example is an asexual person with an incubus and/or a succubus. Or whatever gender-neutral term there is.
> 
> The MC in this fanfic, like in the game, has no gender specified. I opt for gender-neutral pronouns, but you can pick to make them whatever gender you want them to be. We're LGBT+ friendly in this house.
> 
> They also struggle with internalized ableism and panic attacks, and I don't hold back any punches with that. The first chapter is very emotionally fraught for them. Later chapters will have a much stronger-willed person, but for the first bit, they're just going along with the flow trying not to fall apart. I'll mark each chapter with any issues that may come up so you won't be taken by surprise.
> 
> Also, the game seems to be set in a world where the human world, Devildom, and Celestial Realm aaalll know about each other and magic and stuff, so the magical aspects aren't taking the MC entirely by surprise, they're just foreign to them.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> (PS: if it gets smutty, I'll up the rating and add tags)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Content warnings for panic attacks and internalized ableism**

You were, in every aspect, unextraordinary.

You kept your head bowed as you went about your business, never liking to draw attention to yourself (they see you they see you they see you ---) or do anything out of the ordinary. You attended college, made acquaintances, and continued with your life like you were completely normal.

If anything, the parts of you that weren't normal made you worse, not better. Bobbin was your other half, true, and you didn't regret him for the world... you just wish you didn't _need_ him in the way you did.

You just wish that you were capable of providing for a dog so you could have him registered instead of the painstaking training you put Bobbin through that you couldn't even reap the benefits of in public.

Not like you ever would, because that would also ruin your image.

So why, you think, dazed, is this happening to you? The idea that it's all just a dream has easily been overthrown by the overwhelming sense of _realism_ of it all, and the fact you're about to have a panic attack. Everything is fuzzy and far away, people looking small. You hear without listening, the words just washing over you.

"Welcome to the Devildom," one man announces, sitting in a chair resembling the Chief Judge's seat. He says your name, too, which is - grounding and terrifying at once. _How does he know your name...?_

He must see your shock, because he continues. "Oh, pardon me. Feeling a bit shocked, are we?"

Which is one way to put it because you're about three seconds away from a panic attack, struggling to breathe with your stomach twisted in knots. You need Bobbin but then everyone here would _know_ you need Bobbin and you bury your problems super deep for a _reason_.

"Well, that's understandable. You've only just arrived, after all. As a human, it will probably take a little while for you to adjust to things here in the Devildom."

As a human. In the Devildom. You do _not_ like where this is going. Why are you panicking in a dream? It's a dream, right? It's too crazy, too insane, to be _real_. But you know it is real, that this is something that is happening _right now_. Or is it? You literally cannot tell right now whether or not this is a dream and that's making your panic worse.

"I suppose I should start by introducing myself," the man says congenially, "My name is Diavolo. I am the ruler of all demons, and all here know of me. And someday soon, I will be crowned king of the Devildom."

Oh, okay, so you're talking to a prince. That's great. That's wonderful. You probably look like a complete and utter fool, silent with your mouth partially opened and growing paler by the second.

"This is the Royal Academy of Diavolo, though we just call it RAD." He chuckles, all cheer and pleasantry. "You're standing inside the assembly hall, the very heart of RAD. This is where we officers of the student council hold our meetings and conduct our business. I'm the president of said council."

He's staring at you, he's waiting for you to say something. Someone else is, too, but it's just two of them, thank God. Two is overwhelming enough, but it's also a small number, a _manageable_ number, of people to have their attention fully on you. But you can't say anything. Your throat feels sore, you're trembling.

"Um," you manage, inarticulately. You need Bobbin, fuck you need Bobbin, you need anything to ground you because right now you just don't know what's going on. The world fades in and out around you, your hand uselessly plucking at the air, and where _is_ the air wasn't that oxygen, and next thing you know you're on something soft (oh, a bench) with a concerned face looking at yours. Diavolo, still.

"You're awake," he says, relieved, "You fainted... are you alright?" There's your name again, soft and feathery, and you swallow around a lump in your throat as you ease yourself to sitting. You're not panicking, not _traditionally_ , but there's a little bit of numbness there, and the lack of emotion is concerning to your logical mind because it usually is a prelude to a huge emotional crash. Not to mention the fact that you still can't really see straight and your stomach is still doing funny things.

"You're, um, Diavolo, right?" you say finally, mind putting fragments of memories together, far too slow, "RAD... that's, um. I was offered a scholarship and applied for it. And now I'm here. In my pajamas."

He smiles apologetically. "Clearly it was timed poorly," he says, "But there isn't an exact hour-to-hour linear time between the Devildom and the human realm."

"I thought the Royal Academy was somewhere in London in the human world," you admitted, "But the _Diavolo_ should have tipped me off. I didn't think I'd get in..." You clench and unclench your hands. You don't look at him, seeing his red hair in the corner of your eye.

"Sorry for the fright," he says, gentle. Someone else clears their throat and your eyes flicker over - black hair, clothes that match Diavolo's except black instead of the prince's - oh God - bright red.

"I will explain everything to you," the man declares.

Diavolo rests his hand on your shoulder briefly and you tense up all over because you weren't expecting it and _why_ is he _touching_ you is he going to - He pulls his hand away as soon as he feels you tense, and you break off any unproductive thoughts. Thanks, you're already in a bad state, do _not_ go down those spirals that the panic is trying so desperately to make you go down.

"This is Lucifer," he says. "He is a demon and the Avatar of Pride. He's also the vice president of the student council and my right-hand man... and not just in title, I assure you. Beyond that, he's also my most trusted friend."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Diavolo," Lucifer scolds, but you're pretty sure he's flattered despite himself. You're good at reading people, which is part of the reason why you can pass for being, you know, _not autistic_. He turns to you, smiling, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Speaking on behalf of the entire student body at this great and storied school of ours... I offer you a most heartfelt welcome." He says your name, too, and it's grounding but you don't like the way he says it. Diavolo is far more welcoming, far more warm. But you know something of the seven sins, and pride will keep distant.

"Diavolo believes that we demons should start strengthening our relationship with both the human world and the Celestial Realm. As a first step toward this goal, we've decided to institute an exchange program. We've sent two of our students to the human world and two to the Celestial Realm, and we're welcoming four students to our school: two from your world and two from the Celestial Realm. So I take it you've probably put two and two together at this point, right?"

He pauses, his serious expression informing you of the standards he holds you to simply because you are here. " **You've** been chosen from among the people of the human world to participate in this program of ours. **You are our newest exchange student.** Your period of stay is one year. You will have to work on the tasks that you will receive from RAD in addition to your school assignments. After one year, you will write a paper about your exchange here in the Devildom."

You were barely keeping up with school as it was. And now you're - here, and - You struggle to breathe, shaking all over, and this time any attempt at keeping yourself functional fails for the second time. You are not able to stop panicking, not able to escape, gasping for breath as all your synapses fire fight-or-flight-emergency-panic adrenaline throughout your entire body, leaving you trembling and cold and you _need_ Bobbin, okay, you need him, no use hiding it you _need_ your cat -!

Furry paws press against you, furry head shoved into yours, rough sandpaper tongue licking at you. You are yanked back to reality, grounded by your furry companion.

"Bobbin," you whisper in a hoarse voice, picking up the cat and cradling him against you. He purrs, low and rumbly, continuing to ground you with his head to yours just like you trained him. Your shoulders slowly relax, your body unwinding slightly.

"How'd you know?" you choke out, looking at the two men.

Diavolo, for his sake, looks extremely concerned. "You said you needed your cat Bobbin," he says, "I was able to get Barbatos to fetch it for you."

You look at the person he gestures to, someone who just _screams_ butler with green hair.

"Thank you," you croak out, "I could use some water..."

Diavolo looks at Barbatos, and in a moment he has left and then returned with a glass of water. You sip it. Bobbin remains in your lap, calm and collected like always.

"Are you... ill, in some way?" Diavolo asks, his voice gentle.

Well, your reputation is already ruined. You might as well go all in. So you take a deep breath. "I, um, have some mental issues. Bobbin's my service cat. He helps yank me out of panic attacks - which is what was going on there - and helps ground me for my anxiety or if I'm overwhelmed or whatever else. He can do some cool tricks, too." You pet the cat, drawing strength from your little gray-and-black tuxedo-tabby. "I don't, um... I have autism, and then some kind of anxiety or trauma disorder - the diagnosis keeps changing. So I don't... I'm not..." You trail off, taking a deep breath.

But Diavolo just nods. "I see. This wasn't mentioned on your application," he says.

"I try not to share it," you say, your voice tight and quiet, "I don't like how it makes people treat me. I don't like how it makes me _feel_ , that I have issues like that. I'm not fragile and I'm not disabled. I just... am _different_. I see things in a different way. Need... certain allowances in school." Even if you tried to avoid those allowances.

"We'll see what we can do about that to make the tasks easier on you," Lucifer interjects, "And you clearly need someone to look after you, and I think that someone should be my brother Mammon. He's the Avatar of Greed and... how should I put it...? Oh well. You'll understand soon enough."

Lucifer hands you a device that looks exactly like a smartphone. "Here, take this device. It's called a DDD. It's a lot like the cell phones of your world." Called it. "This will be yours to use for as long as you're here. Now, go ahead and try calling Mammon with it."

Phone calls. Great. Cool. You were not _good_ at phone calls. Lucifer can clearly see it on your face, because he sighs and goes to take the phone from you, but you yank it back and open up your contacts - there it is, 'Mammon'. There are several other contacts already put down, including Diavolo and Lucifer.

The phone rings. "Yo, who's this?"

You say your name. "Um. Lucifer wants you to... come here?" You look at Lucifer uncertainly, who nods. "To the... student council room..? You're supposed to be my, ugh, caretaker for the year?"

He snorts. "You sound as disgusted as I feel about that idea. No thanks."

Lucifer leans in close, making sure that Mammon will hear him. "Come to the student council room **now** , Mammon."

He makes a squeaking noise. "Alright, **fine** , whatever! I'm on my way!"

"Okay, thanks -" aaandd he hung up.

You end the call and then turned towards Lucifer. "You look even more worried now," he chuckles, seeming to take some amusement in your anxiety. Bobbin tenses up, glaring at the demon in the malicious way only cats can manage.

"Well, if you were suddenly brought to a strange place and then get told that an unfamiliar face will now take care of you, you'd certainly feel anxious," Diavolo scolds Lucifer. Oh, so the feeling that you were going to die was normal? Yeah, right.

However, Diavolo turns back to you. "Mammon isn't the only one to help you out," he declares, "We still need to introduce you to Lucifer's brothers." His gaze glides over to Lucifer. "And it's probably better that you do that instead of me, wouldn't you say?"

"Yes," Lucifer sighs, "as much as I **dread** the idea of doing so, you're right."

Another person enters the room, and you jump when he speaks. "Oh, come now. **Really?** You should be honored that you get to introduce such a **sweet** and **charming** little brother like me!" You cuddle Bobbin closer. You are a mess, holding your cat to keep from panicking again, still in your pajamas, absolutely a disaster in every way. And this guy is... he is aesthetically pleasing, the very definition of attractive. His hair looks silky and shiny, his uniform is immaculate, his eyes are piercing like they can see right through you. You feel very, very small and very, very ugly.

"This one here is Asmodeus," Lucifer sighs, "He's the fifth eldest. He is the Avatar of Lust."

"Wh... I can't believe you just totally ignored what I said!" scoffs Asmodeus. You can't help but get the impression that his offense is good-natured, perhaps even playful. "And not only that, you referred to me as **this one**. How rude!"

It is only when he speaks that you notice the person standing next to Asmodeus. "Hmph. At least he didn't ignore you altogether," the blonde-haired man grumbles, "How do you think I feel?"

"That one there is Satan, the fourth eldest of us," Lucifer continues, doing his best to ignore everything his brothers say, "At first glance, he may seem like a responsible demon with a good head on his shoulders, but looks can be deceiving."

"Aha, so **I'm** that one, am I? Nice to meet you," he chuckles, saying your name. Like Diavolo, there is something grounding and familiar in the usage of your name, perhaps because so few people _use_ your given name. "I am Satan, the Avatar of Wrath."

Of... wrath? You look at him skeptically, not quite believing it. He just smiles back at you. And unlike Lucifer, his smile isn't predatory or cruel; unlike Diavolo, it isn't inherently warm and welcoming. It's just a simple expression of how he feels. The honesty in it makes you feel like he's someone you can trust.

Asmodeus is steadily inching closer to you, trying to draw your gaze to his and make you meet his eyes. Habitually you look away, stiffening.

"I should probably warn you; you'd best be wary of Asmodeus's gaze," Satan says cheerfully, "He can charm and manipulate people and use them to his own advantage. If you're not careful, he'll charm you. And once you're under his spell, **he'll eat you.** "

 _Eat_ you? Your breathing starts to quicken, but Bobbin is there with his head against yours, bringing you back down to the moment before you get anywhere near another panic attack. You're still exhausted from the... first one? Two? One or two. The air is rushing past you, all around you, and it's like cotton has been stuffed in your ears, but you can still hear.

"Hey, don't go around saying things like that," Asmodeus pouts, "Not like they were looking at my eyes _anyway_..."

"Hurts," you say vaguely, "Eyes are the window to the soul. There's _too much_ in eyes. It _hurts_."

You feel more than see the demons in the room exchanging glances, and you wonder if they have any idea about people who don't fit the status quo. They're handling it better than some people, but they're also handling it worse than others.

"Are you done?" Lucifer asks his brothers, heaving another heavy sigh. "Now..." Lucifer gets your attention and gestures at a tall and broad man. "The one there with the very grumpy look on his face is Beelzebub. He's the sixth oldest.

"Lucifer," he complains, crossing his arms, "I'm hungry." If it wasn't for Bobbin, you'd be panicking again. Demons eat humans sometimes. Not regularly, but... being around a hungry demon _definitely_ makes you nervous. Unlike everyone else, Beelzebub's uniform is a bit messy and unkempt. Why you're noticing this _now_ is beyond you, but brains are sometimes terribly stupid in their intelligence.

"That's too bad," Lucifer says with no sympathy, "Now behave yourself."

Beelzebub sighs and turns to you, bowing slightly. "I'm Beelzebub, the Avatar of Gluttony," he grumbles dutifully, his expression drawn and forlorn. He holds his growling stomach.

"There are seven of us brothers in all, and I am the eldest," Lucifer explains, "Mammon, the second oldest of us, will be here soon. My other brothers aren't here at the moment, but... well, we can get to them later. All in good time."

"During your stay in the Devildom, the seven brothers will lend you their strength," Diavolo says with a smile, "To keep you safe, you are to stay with them at the House of Lamentation."

Just then, a white-haired man strides into the room, making a disgusted face. "Just **who** do you think you are, human? You've got a lotta nerve summoning the **Great Mamon**!"

He's loud and in your face and you swallow harshly, trembling as you squeeze Bobbin maybe a little too tight. For his part, Bobbin swipes at Mammon, hissing. The demon dodges back, but the two of them glare at each other for a moment before Mammon puts his hands on his hips and looks back at you. If you thought Beelzebub's uniform was messy, Mammon's is an absolute wreck - the jacket is almost falling off his shoulders despite the perfect cut, the shirt is wrinkled, and the tie is crumpled.

"If you value your life and the life of that cat, then you'll hand over all of your money now! And anything else of value, too! Or else I'll start eatin' you! Startin' at your head and working my way down, until -"

"Mammon, shut up or I'll punch you," Lucifer declares. And then punches Mammon anyway.

"Gah, oww! Hey, what's the big idea?! I thought you were actually gonna give me **a chance** to shut up before punching me!"

You can't help it; you giggle. It's just - it's so ridiculous, and exactly like siblings, and something _warm_ and light. And, hell, after his initial introduction... Mammon doesn't seem so bad. He's just loud. But even his threats aren't that scary. You're in the _Devildom_ , you're gonna have to get used to threats to eat you.

"Mammon here is the Avatar of Greed," Satan says, smiling with an amusement that's probably similar to yours. "He governs and oversees all forms of it. Whenever he takes a liking to someone, they suddenly find themselves awash in money. But from what I hear, if he decides to break it off with someone, that wealth evaporates. They're left without a Grimm to their name."

"And he's also a masochist," Asmodeus adds, his voice almost flirtatious, "That part's important."

"Indeed," Lucifer agrees smoothly. "And it just so happens I have a job for my masochist of a brother."

"Ya'll, stop telling lies!" Mammon complains, "I ain't asked for that punch, and I AIN'T a masochist!"

"Mammon," Lucifer says again, " **you** are going to be in charge of seeing to this human's needs during the whole exchange. I expect your full cooperation." Lucifer is smirking now, all arrogance and self-satisfaction.

Mammon looks shocked. "What?! **Why me?!** " he demands.

Asmodeus pouts again, clucking his tongue. "Aww, lucky you, Mammon! I'm so jealous..."

"All right, then why don't YOU do it, Asmodeus?!" Mammon demands, eager to pass your care off to someone else. You really don't blame him. You're confident even Bobbin would be happier with a different owner who could cater more to his catly needs. Bobbin's just stubborn and a very good cat.

But Asmodeus laughs. "What? Hell no, I'm too lazy."

"I thought you said you were jealous of me?!"

"Just give up, Mammon," Satan says, although he at least looks sympathetic. "There's no getting out of this. You know you can't refuse a direct command from Lucifer, correct?"

"But why does it have to be me?!" Mammon insists, "What about Beel? Why can't he do it?!"

"This isn't a job we can entrust to Beel," Asmodeus snorts, "If we did, we might as well ask him to **eat** this human."

"Mm, yeah, I can't promise I wouldn't," the orange-haired demon says with a shrug.

You eye Beelzebub warily, but at least you're not panicking this time.

"You're useless, you know that?!" Mammon says with a groan.

Lucifer clears his throat. "...Mammon?"

"Wh-what?" Mammon asks nervously.

" **Surely** you're not going to tell me that you object to this arrangement, are you?" You flinch at Lucifer's display of power, burying your head into Bobbin's fur. You can _feel_ it radiating off of him in _waves_ , an overwhelming amount of force that leaves your eyes watering. Bobbin's claws prick at your pants, sharp tips pressing just slightly against your skin.

Mammon audibly gulps. "Ugh... I hate you guys! Every last one of ya! Fine... FINE! I'll do it, okay?!" He approaches you again, roughly grabbing your shoulder only to get bitten by Bobbin, who does not appreciate someone handling his human roughly, thank you very much. He lets go and glares at the cat for a moment before continuing.

"All right, **human** , listen up. As much as I don't want to look after you, I've got no choice. It's a huge pain in the ass, and I'm too important for this kind of thing, but **Lucifer** told me to do it, so I will. But in return, you better make sure you don't cause me any trouble, got it?!"

You nod.

Lucifer once more speaks up. "We have decided who will take care of you, so on to the next subject: your tasks. Or, rather... **task**. Your task is to polish up your soul nicely and to acquire the power to resist demons. Demons will use their wisdom and abilities to tempt the humans so they can get their hands on their souls. Other demons at RAD also have tasks assigned to them just like you. In other words... either humans will be tempted by demons, or demons will lose against the shiny and noble soul of a human and make a run for it. You could say it is an experiment to find out who will win.

"Since you don't have any magic, my brothers and I will lend you our power to help you defend yourself. And you won't have to worry about us working against you." Lucifer looks around, giving everyone there a sharp glare to emphasize his words. "With that, my explanation has come to a close."

"I want to make one thing clear right now: Don't blame me if someone gets eaten, 'cause it ain't my fault," Mammon declares, quick to clear himself of worries.

"Lucifer," Beelzebub says solemnly, "I'm hungry."

Lucifer shoots him a quick glare to shut him up.

"From now on," Diavolo declares, saying your name to get your attention, "You'll be living at the House of Lamentation. You'll be staying there with Lucifer and his six younger brothers. Humans, angels, demons, I imagine a universe where each accepts the other. Where we are brought together as friends. This is my dream, and I'm asking you to be the foundation for it."

He looks so eager, so hopeful. Your heart drops to your stomach. What a wonderful dream, and his expression... You'd hate to disappoint him.

"One year, that's all I ask of you," he adds softly, "Good luck." Once more he says your name, and then he leaves - off to do important princely things, no doubt. Mammon sighs.

"Come on, let's get you and your beast to the House of Lamentation," he grumbles. You quickly get up and follow him, carrying Bobbin with you. He weaves through the corridors of the building, leaves the building, heads to a house. "Ugh, I don't believe this. Of all the rotten luck," he grumbles, "why should I have to look after some human? It's insulting, that's what it is!"

"I'm sorry," you say, your voice soft.

Mammon pauses. "What?"

"I'm sorry," you repeat louder, "It... it really isn't fair. I shouldn't be here. Literally **anyone else** would be a better choice. I'm a pain, I won't be able to do things properly..." You bury your head into Bobbin's fur, the cat perfectly calm despite the awkward way you're now holding him. "I'm sorry you're stuck with me. They were... really mean to you."

He doesn't seem to know how to respond, so he's quiet until you both are inside. Here, he spreads his arms out wide. "This is the House of Lamentation. It's one of the dorms here at RAD. Well, it's not JUST one of the dorms." He smirks at you. "It's the dorm reserved for student council members. Lucifer, Asmo, and the others take every chance they can get to insult me. Callin' me scum, sayin' that I'm a money-grubber and stuff... but I'm an officer on the student council, same as them. The elite of the elite, the **top** of the RAD social pyramid. In other words, I'm a big shot. A REAL big shot. Like, even regular big shots are impressed by what a big shot I am." You giggle.

He scowls at you. "What, you think somethin's funny?"

"No, just... it's nice to see you so happy."

He preens. "Yeah, don't you go thinking that I'm just some ordinary demon. I'm nothing like those other peons walking the halls here. By the way, Diavolo is even MORE of a big shot. He's so important that he's got his own castle. That's why he doesn't live here with us." Mammon clears his throat. "Anyway, the long and short of it is that us seven brothers all live here together. Now, it's time I show you to your room..."

As the two of you walk, he keeps talking. "Now, listen up. If you wanna survive even a day here in the Devildom, you'd better listen REAL close to what I'm about to say. If it ever looks like a demon is about to attack you... run away. Either that, or die."

You stop walking, your eyes wide as you tremble. He says it so casually... You _know_ demons are stronger than humans, but... this is...

"How about this?" A voice comes from behind you, causing you to jump. You turn and back up against the wall. The blue-haired demon standing there is glaring daggers at Mammon. "I vote for YOU to die, Mammon."

"D'ah! Levi..." Mammon's eyes go wide. "Uh, l-listen up, human! This here is Leviathan, the Avatar of Envy. He's the third oldest of us brothers. Since his name's sorta hard to say, you can just call him Levi! Okay then, let's just move on."

"Mammon, give me back my money," Leviathan says, undeterred. "Then go crawl in a hole and die."

"Come on, I told you I'd get it to you!" Mammon whines. "I just need a little more time. ...And you still want me to die even after I give it back? That's real harsh, Levi!"

"You need **a little** more time? How much more?" Leviathan demands.

"A **little** more, okay?! A little more means a little more!"

"You've been telling me that for the last 200 years, Mammon," Leviathan says with a scowl.

"Hey, no! It hasn't been 200 years! It's been 260!" Mammon corrects, "Get it right, Levi!"

...You're pretty sure Mammon isn't helping his case.

"Unbelievable. Seriously Mammon, you're -"

"I'm what? **Scum**?" Mammon spits, "Is that what you're gonna say?"

"-you're a **lowlife** and a **waste of space** ," Leviathan says instead.

"Hey! Come on, that's even worse!"

"Whatever... Just give me back my money. I need it to buy the Blu-ray box set of _Journey to the Devildom: The Tale of a Little She-Devil and Her Reluctant Companion_. The initial round of copies includes promotional tickets to a live event as a special bonus," Levi explains.

"I've got no idea what you're even talking about, Levi, but it doesn't matter! Because I don't even have any money to give you. How am I supposed to give back money I don't have, huh?!"

"So then, you're telling me you **refuse** to pay me back?" Leviathan says darkly, scowling.

"...What? You looking for a fight, is that it? Listen, human. You remember my advice from before about what to do when demons attack?" Mammon asks, "Well, you're about to witness that for real. So... time for you to die, because if it's either you or me, it ain't gonna be me!"

"Hold on," Leviathan says, confused, "I thought your advice was to either run away or - wh... damnit, Mammon! That ass... he ran off...!"

You swallow harshly as you press your back against the wall, Leviathan coming closer and closer. You're trembling even with Bobbin, the cat meowing loudly and stubbornly to try and drag your attention away from your fear.

"Do you realize what just happened? Mammon used you as a distraction to get away from me... or maybe I should say he used you as a **sacrifice**. I'll admit that Mammon is one of the scummiest scumbags you'll ever meet... a total lowlife. But still, that was pretty dumb of you letting him use you like that. This is EXACTLY why humans are -"

And you're on the ground crying. Because _you're_ the lowlife, not Mammon, _you're_ scum, you're - you ARE dumb, letting yourself be used - nevermind that you're new, nevermind that you don't know.

Bobbin has his head against yours and is purring so hard his entire body is vibrating with it, the hallway filling up with the sound.

Leviathan freezes, his hand half-stretched out. "Um... human. Are... you okay?" It's very clear he has no **idea** what to do with you right now.

You're just stressed and overwhelmed. You're normally _not_ this bad, but everything has been happening so fast...! You don't even remember the techniques to avoid spiraling like this because everything _sucks right now_.

"Ugh, can't believe I'm doing this," Leviathan grumbles. He grabs you and you startle, smacking at your hand and letting go of Bobbin, but he just helps you to your feet. "Come on," he says, still scowling. "I'll at least show you where your room is, since Mammon ran off on you."

You follow him because you don't know what else to do (and Bobbin, of course, follows you), and sure enough, he takes you to a room... next to the kitchen, which is nice. It's fairly spacious and warm-looking, and you curl up on the bed with Bobbin. Politely enough, Leviathan closes the door behind you.

Your DDD goes off. You pull it out, looking it over. It's Mammon.

 **Mammon** : Look, I have something to take care of. If you need anything, just ask Levi. And don't tell Lucifer, okay?!

 **Mammon** : *glaring sticker*

 **You** : I'm in my room now, it's nice. And don't worry, I won't tell Lucy.

 **Mammon** : LUCY?

 **Mammon** : Hahaha, human, you're a riot...!

 **Mammon** : Make sure you run if you spy any trouble!

Just then, another message comes in.

 **Leviathan** : Human.

 **Leviathan** : You can make pacts with demons and then you can control them.

 **Leviathan** : I'll help you make a pact with Mammon, and then you can order him to give me my money back.

 **You** : Ok

 **You** : I need my clothes.

 **You** : Who can I ask to get them?

 **Leviathan** : Why are you asking me?

 **You** : Mammon would yell at me and I'd rather not get yelled at anymore.

 **Leviathan** : Asmodeus would be thrilled to take you shopping, probably.

 **Leviathan** : Also, Mammon may be scummy, but I doubt he'd yell at you.

 **You** : *trembling sticker*

 **You** : I think I'm just gonna hide out in my room until tomorrow

 **You** : I promise I'm not always so unbearable.

You manage to find the games on your DDD, and you play that until the phone battery gets low. Eventually, you sleep.

When you next wake up, you're sure it's the middle of the night. Bobbin had been bothering you for a while about food, and it's guilt - not your own hunger - that drives you to the kitchen.

There, Beelzebub is in the fridge.

You freeze, remembering that he might eat you. But - there's food right there. That's probably far more appetizing than you.

Bobbin's plaintive meow causes Beelzebub to turn around, some sort of bread in his mouth and hands filled with food. He sets everything down and chews and then swallows, blinking at you.

"Bobbin needs food," you say, picking up your cat. Your stomach growls, but you're also too anxious to eat, so...

"What do cats eat?" Beelzebub asks.

"Cat food," you say, "Or failing that, um... tuna, chicken... any kind of meat, really, raw or cooked. I usually feed him cooked meat, though."

Beelzebub turns back around and fishes out a container, handing it to you. "It's a stir fry," he says, "You can pick out the chicken for your cat."

"Thanks." You nod once at him and put it in the microwave, staring at it as it heats up. Soon enough it's heated, and you sit down next to Bobbin on the cold tile and pick out chicken to feed him. He happily devours it. You pick out some of the different vegetables yourself, encouraged to eat by the fact Bobbin's eating. That's part of the logic of having a service animal.

"So you have... a cat," Beelzebub says awkwardly, still eating.

"His name is Bobbin," you offer, "He... helps me with a lot." Bobbin meows as if in agreement before eating the next bit of chicken you find, his tail lashing back and forth.

The demon sits next to you on the floor, albeit at a small distance. You appreciate that consideration. "Like with earlier," he guesses, "You seemed..."

"Yeah," you say before he can finish the thought, "I have some, um... problems. Officially diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, but people can't decide what particular brand of anxiety I have."

"Autism spectrum disorder... what's that?"

"Um." You squint, thinking. "Means my brain isn't... quite like most people's. Most humans. Certain things overwhelm me. Like stuff can be too loud, too bright... I struggle with social things. I do a lot of repetitive motions. Sometimes I say or do weird things, my tone might be off... different stuff like that. And I didn't start speaking until I was five. My parents and doctors thought I was going to be nonverbal until one day I started quoting my favorite TV show and didn't... really... stop."

"You said something about it hurting to make eye contact," Beelzebub notes, and you grimace.

"Yeah... sorry. I try not to draw attention to, um, that. I can fake eye contact well enough that people don't really notice, but I was just so overwhelmed and taken by surprise..." You find the last bit of chicken in the stir fry and just pick at the vegetables instead, popping them into your mouth with your fingers. Bobbin, deciding you are currently calm and in good hands, wanders off. You know that if you need him he'll be there, though. As proof, he stays in the kitchen.

"Just... eyes are... intense. There's a lot of emotion in the eyes, a lot of expression... it's like someone _exposing_ themselves to me and it is way too much," you explain in a quiet voice.

Beelzebub shrugs, eyeing the stir fry you're still picking at. You hand it to him and he devours it in a second. You snort at that.

There's a moment of peaceful silence, and then Beelzebub leaves. You stay where you are for a little longer, letting Bobbin sniff around and explore the kitchen before you call him and return to your room.

You're still not completely certain about what's going on, but at least one person doesn't seem so bad.

Curled up with Bobbin in your arms, you go back to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: kunabee.tumblr.com
> 
> the dual desperations of wanting to be spectacular and seen versus wanting to be ordinary and invisible


End file.
